"Is there somewhere I can buy this coffeemaker for my mom?  If not then I am just going to take it."

"Do you have the Playboy Channel?"   (How does the saying go?...The freaks come out at night)

"Your rooms don't have water beds do they?  My wife gets sea-sick."

"Did you get my request for a new mattress?" (Don't worry sir, we only use them once and change them after each guest!)

"Did anyone walk out the front door lately?" (It’s a hotel, what the hell do you think?)

"Do a lot of people steal towels?.......I didn't"  (Yeah Right!)

"I was calling to find out if you have any used sheets for sale."  (I have no comment for this one!)

"Where are the bagels?"  Stated while looking through paper supply drawers at breakfast. (Are bagels normally hidden in drawers?)

"Can I sleep in your lobby?"  Stated during a sold-out special event.

"Can you call some of your guests and see if anyone would mind sharing a room with me?"  Stated during a sold-out special event.

"I only have $0.27 left.  Can I get some money out of your cash drawer and bill it to my employer?" (yeah, take whatever you need!)