A few nights before Christmas
When all through the house
Not a creature was stirring,
Just me and my mouse.

My shopping not done,
I had flown to my chair.
I'd get on the Internet,
And buy my gifts there!

"On Visa! On MasterCard,
Amex! Discover!..."
Double click here!
Buy one or the other!

Load up your shopping cart,
Away with the mall!
Now click away, click away,
Click away, all!

I had finished my list,
"That was easy," I thought,
"But how do I get all this
Stuff I just bought?"

I must have dozed off,
When I heard such a clatter.
I arose with a start
To see what was the matter.

I threw open the door...
Is this some sort of trick?
The guy on the porch-
"You must be St. Nick!"

"You wish," said the guy,
"It's the Fed Ex, you old coot.
Who else do you think
Could schlep all this loot?"

I thanked him again
As he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all,
And to all a good night!"