According to a new report issued by UK cruise travel agency, bonvoyage.co.uk, cruise passengers these days have a lot to complain about:

A woman complained about the sea being "too loud", resulting in her not being able to sleep well on her Mediterranean cruise. She demanded that cabins be "better sound-proofed against the sounds of the sea”.

A couple accused a captain of being "rude" for sailing off when they had left a note saying they needed more sightseeing time in port.

A woman saw that “Take That” star Gary Barlow had been on her ship on an earlier trip, so she demanded an explanation why he was not on her voyage.

A man complained about not getting "an impressive tan" and being unable to swim in the pool each day while on a trip around, wait for it..........Alaska!

A woman travelling with Celebrity Cruises asked for a refund as there were "no celebrities on board"!

A couple wanted compensation after forking out "a lot more money than planned" on staff tips due to the excellent service.

A passenger, having booked an inside cabin, then complained about not having a view of the sea and asked for a window to be installed.