Better to be occasionally cheated than perpetually suspicious.

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. IT GOES ON.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

There are two things to aim at in life: first to get what you want and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.

There is no right way to do the wrong thing.

The best vitamin for making friends: B1.

Knowledge is like a garden; if it is not cultivated, it cannot be harvested.

If you can't be the tablecloth, don't be the dishrag.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know?

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Never tell everything you know.

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.