Perhaps you already know everything there is to know about ostriches.  But if there are gaps in your knowledge, a visit to the Oudtshoorn region might surprise you.  And it won’t only surprise you about ostriches.

Ostriches, of course, are indigenous to South Africa and can be found anywhere in the dry interior of the country.  But this little Karoo patch is ostrich heaven – the birds flourish here in numbers unknown anywhere else.   Everywhere you go in Oudtshoorn and surrounds you will see crowds of ostriches peering curiously at you over farm fences. We all learned at school or thereabouts that ostrich farming started on a fairly small scale in the Karoo roundabout the turn of the last century (after it had been discovered that ostriches could be farmed), but that fickle fashion elevated the humble feather to an objet d’art.  So ostrich feathers became more valuable than gold – quite literally.  The town of Oudtshoorn reached unheard-of levels of wealth, with the feather barons building huge sandstone palaces.  Of course it didn’t reach the ridiculous excesses of the diamond and gold rushes, as farmers are more sober beings than gold-diggers, but they pushed out the boat as far as they dared, and the ornate Edwardian feather palace is the defining architectural style of Oudtshoorn.  But back to ostriches. This is truly a bird that was designed by a committee.  It can withstand long periods of drought but copes with the Karoo flash floods by being able to swim.  The male ostrich has a call like a lion’s roar (as many a terrified camper can attest).  During the mating season the legs of the male turn bright pink so that he looks as if he is wearing circus tights.  They tend to lose their heads when confronted by a female and have been known to break their own legs while dancing to welcome the rising sun.  The famous ‘head-in-the-sand’ stance is a real defensive mechanism adopted by ostriches – they lower their heads so that their bodies look just like tall shrubs to the unobservant predator. All these peculiarities of the ostrich are on display at the CP Nel Museum in Oudtshoorn, including a bottle of ‘ostrich aphrodisiac pills’ – breeders swear that a handful of mielie pips are just as effective – as well as the strange objects that have been recovered from ostrich stomachs.  These include spark plugs, sunglasses, buttons and earrings snatched from the ears of tourists.  One farmer recently had a problem every washday when his washing – shirts, socks and pants – was vanishing from the wash line.  It was only when one of his ostriches died from severe indigestion that he was able to recover the remains of his wardrobe.  Apart from the CP Nel Museum and the feather palaces, there are other attractions in Oudtshoorn.   Two ostrich farms run guided tours and let you get up close and personal with the bird, even letting you take part in an ostrich race.  As a break from ostriches, you can also visit a bunny farm where angora rabbits look like a huge pile of fluff – but when you pick them up you find your hands disappearing completely into the fur.  There is also a wildlife experience where you can pet cheetahs and ogle crocodiles.  But you can’t get away from ostriches: the farms line the road out of town to the Cango Caves – another must-see at Oudtshoorn.   Cango means, appropriately enough, the Wet Place, as the caves were formed by the constant dripping of water on stone – just like cell-phone advertising.  And the result is the same:  enormous caverns of emptiness where your voice will echo, populated with bright and chirpy guides and a slow crocodile of people shuffling obediently from one attraction to the next. If you have the time, you must take the road out of Oudtshoorn through the Three Passes Route, which starts with the imcomparable Swartberg Pass to Prince Albert, then the Sewe-Weeks Poort and then the most spectacular pass in South Africa, Meiringspoort.  The road crosses the little river twenty-six times, cutting through high walls of twisted rocks in all the colours of an overwrought sunset.  There is a picnic spot and an enchanted waterfall.  No, really, it is enchanted – the legend goes that a group of Bushmen travelling through the area left one of their number behind as he was too sick to continue.  After drinking the water from the spring for a few days though, not only did he gain his strength but he caught up with and trotted right past his travelling group. Even though the day of the ostrich is over, they are still a valuable crop, although now more for meat and skins than feathers.  And of course, as a show bird.  With their long eyelashes, huge eyes, globular bodies and impossible legs and necks, there is something touchingly innocent about the ostrich.   If it did not already exist, Walt Disney would have had to invent it.