When you go to New York, you have to see a show on Broadway, right?   And in London, it’s the Mousetrap or a West End musical.  And in Paris it’s Les Folies Bergere. 

So why shouldn’t Johannesburg have something along the same lines?  Well, actually, it has.  ‘Umoja’ has been around for a few years, touring around the world.  It tells the story of South African life through its music and dance – the beat of the drums, the rhythms of the seasons, the journeys of the people.  But now it has a permanent home – the Victory Theatre in Johannesburg. The theatre has been remodelled specifically to host the musical, with the idea that the show will become an all-year-round tourist attraction must-see, as synonymous with Johannesburg as the Berlin Wall is with Berlin and the Golden Gate Bridge is with San Francisco. It most certainly has the potential to become iconic.  The show is not the amateur ‘traditional’ dancing and singing that is shown interminably around camp fires at safari lodges.  Umoja moves snappily through African music, from rural roots to township jive to gospel to kwaito.  These are loosely bound in a kind of story, told by an engaging narrator who talks you through the rhythms and beats of African life. ‘OK, so what’s so special?’ you ask. ‘I can see and hear traditional or township music any day of the week.’  Well, no you can’t – certainly not of this quality and calibre.  This is world-class stuff.  South Africans who think that they know all about African culture should do themselves a favour and attend a performance.  Tour guides and tour operators, especially, should make a point of doing so.  Umoja is a cultural explosion, far more fun than a traditional village, livelier than a township tour, more entertaining than shopping in Sandton.  It would make an excellent addition to any tourist itinerary. The cast are all youngsters from disadvantaged backgrounds, who have found a career in showbusiness.  The two originators, Todd Twala and Thembi Nyandeni, are township kids themselves who forged a friendship while performing around the world for years with Ipi nTombi.  When that show came to an end they developed their own show – and the rest, as they say, is history.   But one must not look at the show as an empowerment vehicle (although it helps).  It stands on its own two feet as a slick, professional, eye-popping experience.  The standard of performance is breathtaking, the cast is a group of attractive young people, the whole show is an uplifting occasion.  It makes you proud to be South African. And the dancing!  Being used to ballet and modern dance, one expects dancers to be wraith-like stick-insects, floating gracefully around the stage like thistle-down.  The Umoja lady-dancers are – not to put too fine a point on it – relatively beefy.  These hearty lasses (Rubenesque, my friend called them) don’t float – they shimmy with wild abandon.  It is a joyous celebration of women of all shapes and sizes.  The other amazing thing about this show:  not only are the cast leaping around the stage in a way that would put an Olympic gymnast to shame – but they actually sing at the same time.  At one point I thought they must be miming, as it seemed impossible that they could jump, beat drums, run around the stage and jive in the way they do without losing breath, but while watching closely I realised that they were actually singing live with a live backing band.  And – even more amazing -  they manage huge grins all the time as well! A short mention of the spine-tingling programme:  even thinking about it makes me break out in goosebumps.  The first set looks at the traditional dances of South Africa’s tribes:  the Zulu and the Venda (the Snake Dance is particularly eerie).  Then we move to the lively YMCA Talent Competitions in Durban, which were a Big Thing in the 50s.  The next scene is a street in Egoli, moving onto the Back of the Moon Shebeen and the mystique of Sophiatown.  The second half of the show features the Tin Can girls, the Gumboot Dancers, Isicatimiya and the most energetic Marimba recital I have ever seen – it had the audience on their feet and cheering.  This is followed by a ‘Gospel Explosion’, a look at the Club Scene and Kwaito (including Mapantsula and Hip Hop) and then full circle back to the modern version of the ancient cultures. The show runs every night at the Victory Theatre, and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future – and at least until 2010.  There is excellent parking (quite a feat for downtown Johannesburg), and you can include dinner packages, or a drink at the very nice bar.  The management are extremely amenable about talking to tour guides and travel companies about tourist or corporate bookings - I asked specially.  Speak to Charmaine Ellis at charmaine@iafrica.com or telephone 083 – 426-8549 or check out the website www.umojatheshow.com