A list of the Top Ten things to do in Cape Town comes up with some unmissables such as Table Mountain, Kirstenbosch, an extremity-tingling dip in the sea, the Castle, whales in False Bay and the like.  But I would venture to add another must-do to this list, and I am surprised no one has picked up on it before: go topless through the city.

By topless, of course, I mean the Cape Town Topless Bus.  These are London-type double-decker red buses without a roof, which trundle through the streets of Cape Town allowing passengers to hop on or hop off according to whim.  There are two services:  the Red Route, which zig-zags through the city to all the usual attractions, and the Blue Route, which ventures further afield to Kirstenbosch, Hout Bay and all points between.  I recently spent two marvellous days on these buses, and discovered two misconceptions about this transport service.  I would like to dispel them both.  Firstly, a lot of people think these buses are for tourists.  This is quite correct – they are magnificent for tourists.  They offer a safe and hassle-free commuter service to all Cape Town’s major tourist attractions, and the ticket price includes discounts on museum entry fees, cups of coffee and desserts at restaurants en route, a map of Cape Town and a wonderful multi-language tour-guide commentary.  (You get the headphones when you buy your ticket and you plug them in to the little red box next to your seat that gives you a recorded commentary about the attractions that you are passing.  The commentary is linked to a GPS system, so you will be told about things as they come into view.)  So yes, this is a wonderful service for tourists: it is slick, informative, convenient, entertaining and good value for money.  But!  It is also a wonderful outing for local people.  Each tour takes about two hours, the bus drives through the most interesting and scenic parts of the city, the recorded commentary is lively and unusually informative (it doesn’t only contain the obvious stuff but the more obscure little titbits as well).   Each ticket is valid for unlimited travel for a whole day (24 hours) and if you buy the package of two tours – the red and the blue – then they are valid for two days.  The second misconception is that these buses are only a means to an end – a way of getting from A to B.  My suggestion is that they should be regarded as an end in themselves:  a marvellous day outing on a bus-top.  The way I did my Topless Bus tour – and you might want to do the same – is first to stay on the bus for the whole round trip (start rather early in the morning), then do the trip a second time but get off and on as you spot something you would like to visit.  Obvious stops are at Greenmarket Square, the Castle, the Cable Car, Kirstenbosch, World of Birds, Camps Bay beach, and whatever else you fancy.  Taking into account that the bus ticket price knocks a bit off the entry fee to some of these attractions, it is a tremendous way to explore your own city – and you will never have to worry about transport or parking. One of the best features  is that it starts and ends at the V&A Waterfront, which must simply be one of the best tourist hang-outs in the world.  Bracketing your bus rides between breakfast at the V&A while watching seals play in the green water, and sundowners on the quay with ships coming into harbour under a slanting sun – holiday bliss.    Another reason why you might want to do the trip twice, is that getting the hang of the earphones and the little commentary box takes a little bit of doing (I fiddled for ages getting the little socks over the earplugs).  There is a selection of language channels and even a kiddies’ channel, which tailors the commentary for the littlies and includes fun facts and games to keep them interested.  But – I’m afraid there is one drawback.  The voice in your ear is so prompt and friendly that you find yourself asking it questions.   A few times I enquired from the empty air the name of the ship that was parked in the harbour, or who lived in Groote Schuur after CJ Rhodes had moved down to Muizenberg.  And when lively tunes were being played between commentaries, I found myself tunelessly singing along before stopping with a sheepish glance around.  If my fellow passengers had not also been plugged in and therefore oblivious, I think I might have embarrassed myself.   If you would like to know more about the Topless Bus, you can contact Shaun at info@openbus.co.za  or 021  511-6000.   He is as chatty and charming as the bus itself.