Has Leadership Qualities - Is tall or has a loud voice

Loyal - Can't get a job anywhere else

Expresses Themselves Well - Speaks English

Independent Worker - Nobody knows what he/she does

Quick Thinking - Offers plausible excuses

Good Communication Skills - Spends lots of time on phone

Work Is First Priority - Too ugly to get a date

Meticulous Attention To Detail - A nit picker

Great Presentation Skills - Able to bullshit

Exceptionally Well Qualified - Made no major blunders yet

Careful Thinker - Won't make a decision

Active Socially - Drinks a lot

Family Is Active Socially - Spouse drinks, too

Keen Sense Of Humour - Knows a lot of dirty jokes

Exceptionally Good Judgment - Lucky

Uses Logic On Difficult Jobs - Gets someone else to do it

Average Employee - Not too bright